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What has gone before...

Life has a funny way of kicking you in the ass when you least expect it. This is something that we all must come to terms with in our own way(s). After years of working in the high tech computer industry 9-11 happened. Since then, regardless of what the specialists and experts say the economy is NOT getting better. After losing my job on Sept o4, 2oo2 i seem to have switched career paths temporarily.

I now work for Harbor Homes, Inc. which is a long term solution for the homeless and mentally ill. Its definitely been a learning experience. A lot of my friends in the IT world are hurting. One of my ex-coworkers has been unemployed for over 6 months now. Several others i know have been looking or recently laid off. When will this market down slide end? Should we all go into another career path? No one seems to have any real answers.

I think that life to me encompasses our individual pursuit for answers. Unfortunately, these answers that we find or think we find are extremely situational. There are no absolutes. Being an Aquarius this is frustrating. We by sheer definition dislike change and get stuck in our daily routines more then the non-Aquarian. People are fluidic in nature, and oft are molded by current situations and events. These definitions do not reflect the truths to which we search. For example, for a long time I believed that i had found that person that would be referred to as a soulmate. (This person i am referring to is of course Liz Lafferty.) But as time goes on, and we have little to no contact with each other my decision of this hypothesis becomes flawed. That is to say I second guess that decision. Life has this way of proving one wrong when they think they have something figured out.

I have a theory that people react a lot more to things then they can fathom. In short if you are close to or intimate with someone who is off center (touched, psychotic, etc.) that you will mold towards that persons derangement. Have you ever looked back at a relationship, be it close friends or lovers where you believed that you were completely not yourself and crazy? That is a harsh way of putting things. What I mean by it is that you have molded subconsciously into a partial persona of something that you are not. Perhaps something as simple as believing that you were in love with someone. Perhaps it was more severe than that. I like to refer to this as being stuck in someones head.

Looking back on things that i have written here in the past they still hold true to some extent. Perhaps i have changed the way i feel about certain things or people or events. Most of the people that i wrote about are still very much a part of me where ever i go and whatever i do.

beneiliz


Circumstancial reality or collective reality. Things that people together believe that can change the outlook of the entire world and those things in it. Where does that leave us? Well it leaves us in a localized collective reality that we find difficult to transcend...

            Neilscott Tozier